4 Harsh Lessons I Learned in My Life

While coping with the adversities

Abhinav Rai
3 min readSep 10, 2023
Photo by Mahdi Bafande on Unsplash

Life is not a fairy tale. Problems and challenges are common elements of life, it shapes our personality. The journey is never-ending, and so is adversity, growth, and improvement. You just gotta take it all to thrive. Each adversity carries with it a seed of equal or greater benefit.

Most people try to dodge the challenges of their lives, blowing off their chance to learn important lessons. In contrast, facing hurdles in life prepares oneself for a high purpose.

Being resilient in hard times enables us to stay strong in the game of life. It’s being flexible and adaptable to the circumstances that discourage us.

Encountering hardships fosters social attributes and intellectual abilities. These traits entitle less response to adversities.

Now let me disclose the chunks of lessons I learned in my hard times.

Accepting failure

Experiencing failure is not enjoyable. But accepting failure and moving on, regardless of how good you are is a masterful choice.

When I failed an interview despite having better creditability. I started blaming the recruiters. Because in my mind nothing went wrong from my side.

Cut to another week, I made it into a better organization.

Failing sometimes doesn’t mean not being good enough but maybe this time, it wasn’t meant for you. Instead of blaming the situation or person, look forward to better yourself.

Learn from it because failure will help you grow beyond what you know.

So that you can come back stronger.


Rejections might emerge feelings of unworthiness. Especially in the case of relationships. Here, you must acknowledge that no matter how dashing or Greek god-type you are; there will always be someone, who doesn’t care about you or wants you.

I learned this while being rejected by a girl. I’m not referring to myself as Greek-God-type. But I found myself way better than the guy she started dating later on.

You might never catch the logic because everyone has a different taste.

So, don’t take things to your heart. Accept it and walk away without keeping a grudge.

Discomfort for growth

Great things happen out of your comfort zone. If you dial back to history, you will realize that why dynasties fade away and big business eventually shut down.

Choosing to discomfort every day can elevate the quality of your life. Because it helps you lead an intentional life.

This happened to me when I chose to leave my comfort zone. I started putting my mind to the things that I hated but were beneficial for my self-development.

I started working out, reading, walking, writing, and journaling the entire day. I’m not successful yet, but I witnessed a potential shift in my mindset and overall life.

By this, I think of a famous saying that goes like this.

Hard times create strong men.

Strong men create good times.

Good times create Weak men. &

Weak men create hard times.

So, chase and try to keep the right amount of discomfort in your life, so that you can propel your competence.


I can’t stress more on this. The overwhelming effect of introducing spirituality into your life is phenomenal. I learned about this masterpiece in a low phase of my life (recent pandemic) from a YouTuber (Beerbiceps).

I lost my grandparents during that time. I was locked in my house throughout the day. That’s when I embarked on my journey to self-spirituality.

Meanwhile, let’s keep the religious aspect aside and emphasize more on the meditative aspect of it. Meditation is fasting to the brain. When you meditate, you know thyself.

Frankly, mediation is not a cool activity. When you meditate, you face your inner self and it’s immensely uncomfortable.

But the aftermath is rewarding. You will witness stillness and a sense of gratification at a par. So, try cultivating these lessons in your life to upgrade yourself.

Do comment on what you learned from the hardships of your life.

Thank You



Abhinav Rai

Penning down my unsolicited opinions based on my personal experiences ... Self-Help | Books | Mental Health |