How Your Anger is Taming You

And you don’t even realize in the heat of the moment

Abhinav Rai
3 min readSep 2, 2023
Photo by Alessandro Bellone on Unsplash

Imagine things not going the way you wanted, doesn’t it seem dreadful? You may feel like turning everything upside down, and that’s where your anger gets tapped. The feeling of anger is conventional but the aftermath can be destructive.

Destructive at work, home, and everywhere, because it’s not a primitive state of mind. That’s why anger management is necessary so that you won’t mess up.

Conquering anger issues is essential but it’s not mandatory to sign up for anger management classes and programs to resolve them. You are not dealing with IED (Intermittent explosive disorder).

In layman’s language, frequent impulsive anger gets triggered due to certain events. Anger is natural, a response to threats for survival. But the way of expression can be orchestrated, to avoid mishaps.

Anger can be suppressed and redirected or transmuted for better things. Redirecting your wrathfulness to constructive endeavors may lead to extraordinary achievements.

Anger can be expressed in certain ways, inward and outward. When turned outward things around you can be messed up. In contrast, turning it inward — on yourself can give birth to high blood pressure, hypertension, or depression. So, it’s best to formulate strategies to manipulate your anger.

Practice relaxation

Exercising particular relaxation techniques like deep breathing and watching relaxing imagery can enable you to calm down anger. Don’t try to dive headlong for faster results.

Start with the basics and level up gradually. It can exponentially help you regulate stress, emotional sentiments, and improve self-awareness.

Don’t hold onto anger, relax and let it go.

Cognitive restructuring

Cognitive restructuring implies changing the thinking pattern. To put things in perspective, angry people curse and argue in colorful terms and create mellow dramas.

These responses result in pattern formation in the brain. Due to this your response to anger becomes repulsive.

What’s often repeated becomes our habit

To swap, start injecting the idea of staying calm and composed in similar situations. Ask yourself, whether you can bear it. Start recognizing your behavioral patterns to modify your responsiveness.

Better communication

The inception of anger is due to disagreement. Often disagreement sparks rage within people. With a clear mind and rational discussion, disagreement can be settled. Never try to jump to a conclusion without contemplating the whole picture.

Ask questions and try to avoid the baseless conversation. Miscommunication mostly triggers anger among short-tempered people.

Speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

It’s completely fine to be defensive when you’re criticized but try to understand the perspective of the respective party.

Utilize your humor

Utilizing your sense of humor to alleviate the stressful situation and to create a balanced atmosphere. Try cracking jokes in the heavy ambiance or by comparing the situation or person with something humorous.

But the context is people with anger issues tend to feel morally right about their opinions. Outplaying them with witty comments can be favorable to an extent, but don’t overdo it.

Change your environment

Prevention is better than cure. Similarly, shifting your immediate environment can give you freedom from anger. Sometimes, your environment can be the reason to trigger anger.

Meanwhile, you can try escaping the usual ambiance for your mental peace.

Maintaining a healthy distance from sources of anger can give to time and space to cool down. So, take a break, make time for yourself, and feel rejuvenated.

Comment down, what things were you doing to regulate your anger.

Thank You



Abhinav Rai

Penning down my unsolicited opinions based on my personal experiences ... Self-Help | Books | Mental Health |