How I developed My Self-Confidence

( A journey of an underconfident kid)

Abhinav Rai
3 min readAug 25, 2023
Photo by Anastasiia Malai on Unsplash

Being under-confident is no less than a sin in this formidable world. Self-confidence is the ability to go through challenges in life without succumbing to them. It is a conviction in your abilities, qualities, and judgment. Its impact isn’t confined to facing hardships but also to taking control over your life.

You may be wondering, doesn’t it sound like a superpower? well, the answer might be yes or no. Whatever you might conceive, it is. But it always boils down to owning the circumstances, regardless of its complexity. Lacking self-confidence is a blunder in any realm of life, eventually, you will misstep, irrespective of your abilities.

Let me share a trivia about an interschool badminton competition. Where my skill set and agility were way better than most of the players. But I had never been part of it, due to my underestimating nature.

Before the competition even kickstarted, I made a verdict that I did not possess the skill set of a competent player. So, I am not seasoned enough to be part of it, and even if I had been playing I might have been an imposter among them. Later on, upon witnessing the game, I came to realize that my decision was horrible.

Perhaps being confident may not accommodate you to an extent but being underconfident will swipe your opportunities. So the art of wearing the right amount of confidence in your speech and demeanor is essential. Here, I will emphasize the methods through which you can develop it.

Stop Comparing

Being encompassed in the era of unrealistic expectations due to fake social media makes us all fall prey to it. People are busy showcasing their best lifestyle making others feel worthless. From extravagant lifestyle to vacation and appearance has shaken the parameter of under-confident folks.

Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you are better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone at all.

You develop the feeling of being not good enough because everyone is doing better in life. But the reality is everybody is struggling through life despite having everything they wanted. Rather than being envious focus more on what you can better yourself. Keep gratitude and work for it as badly as you want to breathe.

Focus on physical and mental health

Taking care of your physical and mental health injects the idea of being good enough in humans. Exercising promotes dopamine secretion which makes you feel happier. While practicing self-care, a feeling of doing something positive to your mind, body, and spirit incorporates self-confidence.

Sticking to a healthy diet boosts a higher level of confidence and self-esteem. when your body is nourished with nutrient-dense foods, you feel healthier stronger, and more energized.

Similarly, the importance of sleep can’t be overlooked. It can take a toll on your emotional regulation. Taking a sound sleep of around 6–8 hours aids in balancing emotions, and reducing stress and anxiety. It also promotes cognitive function covering enhanced memory function and creativity.

Face your Fear

Facing your fears can be a trial but overpowering it will allow you to walk with your head high. It’s crucial to recognize that we often create distorted goals to maintain our identity, avoid rejection, or seek certain payoffs.

These goals manifest in behaviors and states of being that support our self-imposed limitations. It boils down to a quote that goes like this;

The fears we don’t face become our limit.

Overcoming your self-limiting beliefs will spur other realms of life. Regardless of your limiting beliefs, debacle them one after another and see where your self-confidence goes.

Make sure to clap and follow for more.

Thank You



Abhinav Rai

Penning down my unsolicited opinions based on my personal experiences ... Self-Help | Books | Mental Health |